


Of douchebags and pretty boys

by schoetheisrealaf



Series: You two deserve each other (The Asshole AU) [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: AU Your OTP are both assholes, Attempt at Humor, Enemies to Lovers, Jinyoung the kindergarten teacher, M/M, People Being Petty, i guess??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 10:29:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8158930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schoetheisrealaf/pseuds/schoetheisrealaf
Summary: "Dear Dog Biscuit,Since you seem unable to understand the sign that clearly indicates that this parking space is to be exclusively used by the staff of this facility, I’ll kindly explain it to you again:Until you’re an employee of the state who works his ass off for society only to get shit wages and the worst working hours you CAN’T USE THIS PARKING LOT, SO FUCK OFF!Apart from that, have a nice day.PS.: I hope you don’t have sex for a year. :)"
OR
You steal my parking spot all the time and I was just heading out to leave a strongly worded note under your windshield wiper but oh no you're hot AUStarring Jinyoung the kindergarten teacher and Jaebum the (arrogant yet dorky) business man





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey my lovelies!  
> So, not so long after my first GOT7 fanfiction I'm back with another much longer one this time.  
> Well, y'all see what the comeback is doing to me^^  
> The AU I chose came from this glorious post:  
> http://lapis-lazuliie.tumblr.com/post/150122093527/aus-for-when-your-otp-are-both-assholes  
> And now, have fun :*  
> Edit: This fic has been translated to [Russian](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5088854) by the lovely Antanya! Thanks again dear, I'm sure you did an amazing job! <3

Jinyoung can’t fucking believe it.

There it is again. The my-monthly-salary-is-higher-than-your-college-debt, sleek black Mercedes-Benz that had been parking in _his_ spot two days last week already. And by _his_ spot he isn’t talking about some ridiculous claim made out of habit or something, no, it is actually his _right_ , and his alone, to use this parking space.

It belongs to the small kindergarten he works at, tucked in between the massive skyscrapers typical for the finance district of any big city. Early in the morning, the stressed moms and dads would drop their still sleepy children off, and Jinyoung, in the company of his two insufferable colleagues Mark and Jackson (who are also an insufferable _adorable_ couple, as if Jinyoung isn’t already punished enough) would spend his days watching over them or watching the huge, expensive cars pass by through the large window facing their microscopic playground slash garden.

Cars such as the magnificent example of decadent wealth that has been blocking his _work-assigned_ parking spot at least two times a week.

_I should engrave them a nice little message on their perfect varnish with this_ , he thinks as he pulls out his keys to open the gate and heavy doors they have to keep the more adventurous children from taking a stroll around the city by themselves. They are a small, public facility, with a fucking _big_ , nice sign on their parking lot, indicating it is only for them, the staff, to use. How can anyone be so antisocial? To steal a kindergarten teacher’s parking spot?

_What kind of asshole does this?_

“What kind of dog biscuit does this?” Jinyoung screams into the vague direction of the common room upon entering. Mark and Jackson always arrive early, to welcome the kids with parents who really should sort out their priorities, in return Jinyoung stays late, cleaning up after the very same children finally got to go home. Maybe him getting here later explains why it is always _his_ spot that is so violently abused and never the one’s of the resident dream couple.

In a swirl of rage and coffee he just got from the kitchen, he storms into the common room some moments later, just to be confronted with the gaze of twelve very confused children and two slightly amused twenty somethings. Mark and Jackson have gathered their group in a large circle on the floor, apparently about to play a game or sing a song with them.

“This time I’ll confront them, this has to stop!” he pants, most likely looking like a madman.

His suspicion is fulfilled when Yugyeom, one of the younger members of their group, pipes up. He is far too tall for his age, has bangs that always get in his face, a too large nose and round cheeks. Needless to say he is absolutely lovely.

“Why does your hair look so weird, hyung?” he asks, already keen on teasing his elders at the tender age of four.

Jinyoung barley registers Mark giving Jackson a look, before he gets led out through the hall, back into the kitchen where he just came from. He watches his friend pour himself a fresh, steaming cup, while the commotion in the main room starts off again, Mark smiling briefly at the loud screech from Jackson that can be heard over every noise the children are making.

Sitting here, calmly drinking coffee, Jinyoung feels the hotness of his anger slowly die from bush fire to lightly smouldering copy of the Communist manifesto.

“So _dog biscuit_ huh?” Mark finally breaks the silence, grinning widely. Jinyoung hates him, really.

“Oh shut up Mark, you know that I’m trying not to swear in front of the children. And plus, it’s gender neutral, so that’s something? I mean, we don’t know yet if the douche is male or female.”

“Doesn’t matter if they keep on taking your spot right? Anyway, the person has to always get here when we have breakfast with the children, otherwise, Jackson and I would see them…”

As much as Jinyoung appreciates Mark giving his current problem so much thought, he knows that idle musing won’t do them any good. Something has to be done. Now.

“Hey Mark, can you pass me a pen and some piece of paper?”

***

The pen ended up to be a light blue crayon and the piece of paper the backside of a left over copy of their last letter to the parents, but Jinyoung thinks that it lessens neither the fierceness nor the dignity of the message he’s going to leave for Mr./Ms. Asshat.

Quickly, with sure steps, like a revolutionary on his way to the barricade, he strides up to the Mercedes-Benz and goes to work. He is just about to lift one of the windshield wipers, wanting to secure his message under it, when a sudden sense of threat washes over him and he hears a low, smooth voice from just behind his right shoulder.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing to my car?” Feeling an angry stare drilling its way through his temple, Jinyoung slowly turns around to the definitely male idiot that has been making him furious for weeks now, note still in hand. He is so ready for this. This is the moment he has fantasized about ever since it all started. What a lucky coincidence that they should meet this way, this is ten times better than the n…

Like one of the children’s toy cars colliding with a wall, all his thoughts of revenge and social justice come to a sudden stop, when he fully perceives the individual he is facing now for the first time.

Long, toned legs clad in elegant slacks the colour of his freaking car, followed up by a white shirt covering his board shoulders. Jinyoungs gaze is immediately drawn to the belt, encircling a narrow waist he would really love to get his hands on, but sadly, this is not the end of it. He lifts his eyes to look into the ridiculously handsome face of the stranger and feels the note he’s been holding tumbling to the ground as he takes in his stylishly parted black hair and the numerous flashing piercings glinting in the dull city sun. Yup, definitely male.

Not for the first time in his life, Jinyoung curses his weak gay self when it comes to pretty men in suits. He watches, with reluctant admiration, how tall dark and handsome’s muscles flex as he bends down to pick up Jinyoung’s note, now lying abandoned on the ground.

“Dear Dog Biscuit,” he lifts a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at that, but otherwise continues reading like nothing happened.

“Since you seem unable to understand the sign that clearly indicates that this parking space is to be exclusively used by the staff of this facility, I’ll kindly explain it to you again:

Until you’re an employee of the state who works his ass off for society only to get shit wages and the worst working hours you CAN’T USE THIS PARKING LOT, SO FUCK OFF!

Apart from that, have a nice day.

PS.: I hope you don’t have sex for a year. :)”

Jinyoung’s worst nightmare and hottest wet dream all wrapped into one slowly lifts his dark eyes from the paper, while Jinyoung desperately tries not to stare. So he focuses on the back of his note, which displays “Happy Halloween!” in colourful comic sans. God, Jackson’s layout skills are the worst.

“Well, sweetheart, someone really got themselves worked up here, don’t you think?” the stranger says with an admittedly quite sexy grin, but due to the patronizing tone he is using, thankfully, the whole rage Jinyoung was experiencing earlier that day comes rushing back in. So he squares his shoulders, stands up tall (which makes him realise that, surprisingly, he is a bit taller than dark medium height and handsome) and lurches into a full blown rant.

“First of all, don’t call me sweetheart, you patronizing Crétin. And second of all, you might think that you own this whole city, just because you make a lot of money, probably by tricking other people, but you know what? There are rules even you have to follow. This parking lot belongs to the kindergarten, you obviously don’t work here, since your social skills have probably been crippled since your childhood. Still you come here and steal _my_ parking space all the time. Now what do you have to say for yourself?”

By the time he stops talking, Jinyoung is breathing heavily and he's quite proud of his little speech to say the least. He thinks he has him now, douchebag will have to admit his failure and hopefully never show his gorgeous ass again around his work place.

But when he focuses back on the handsome face in front of him, he has to realise that he didn’t even have the full attention of his opponent, him staring at something over his left shoulder. Affronted, Jinyoung clears his throat loudly.

“Hmm?” the man makes a distracted noise as he refocuses on Jinyoung, who doesn’t find that a single _tad_ adorable, _of course_ not.

“Oh yeah, what do I have to say for myself? Well, maybe that you should get back in there…” he says, pointing a strong arm in the direction of the kindergarten behind Jinyoung, probably looking at something through the floor length windows.

“…and stop the cute one from stabbing the tall one to death with a pink lightsabre.”

With record speed, Jinyoung whirls around just in time to see Bambam, one of those more adventurous kids he had been talking about earlier, hit Yugyeom straight over the head with said plastic toy, both of them giggling madly and the tall boy only shielding his face half-heartedly. Of course, Mark and Jackson are nowhere to be seen.So he hurries inside, the sound of the starting Mercedes engine fading into the background.

“This isn’t over!”, he screams over his shoulder, for good measure.

***

Wednesday is Jinyoung’s free day and so he prepares another note for Mark to leave on I-am-the-1%’s car if he dares to come back. In his little letter he threatens to call the police next time, throws in some more colourful insults and increases the no sex-wish to two years.

_That should do the trick, right? People don’t like it when the police gets involved_ , he calculates.

What he couldn’t calculate though is the small, stark white business card Mark drops in his lap as the three of them gather around the drawing table Thursday morning, watching the children play peacefully after the daily routine of songs and group games.

Carefully, Jinyoung picks the card up, looking at the plain black letters printed on its front.

 

**Im Jeabum**

**Investement and Business consultant**

 

_So that’s dog biscuits name after all…_

He ignores the telephone numbers and other means to contact Im Jaebum, turning the card around to find another, much more personal message written on it with slightly smudged black ink.

_I can’t believe you’re so petty to leave another message after you’re first attempt failed and we’ve already met in person. Actually, I was kind of hoping to see you again, pretty boy, but alas…I’ll have to come back it seems xD_

_PS.: The police huh? I dare you._

Much to his mortification, Jinyoung feels his ears start to burn at being called _pretty boy_ by the undoubtedly gorgeous being that…steals his fucking parking space all the time and had just hinted at doing it _again._

_Also, he’s a_ Business consultant, _damn it_ …he reminds himself desperately.

“Listen, I’ve no idea what kind of weird ass foreplay you and Mister Richguy are playing at, but I can definitely tell you that somebody who uses _alas_ and the flipping _xD_ in one sentence is a complete loser.”

Leave it to Jackson to make the most inappropriate comments at the time they are most needed. While Mark hastily tries to distract Youngjae, their cutest pre-schooler, who slipped on his lap to draw a picture together a few minutes prior, Jinyoung turns to Jackson, in equal parts thankful and mortified.

“Jackson, I don’t know if that’s a good topic to discuss in front of the kids.”

“ _Jinyoung_ , I don’t know when else we’ll be able to have this talk and I feel like it is totally called for. Do you know that you just turned beet red?” Actually, before meeting Jackson, Jinyoung didn’t think that someone at the age of 24 could still sing song like a teenager teasing his friends. But here he is, proven wrong once again.

“Come to think of it, I’m a bit bummed out that I’m the only one who hasn’t seen our mysterious guest yet. You met him Tuesday and Mark saw him yesterday when he put that pretentious business card in our mail box.” He graces Jinyoung with one of his ridiculous trademark pouts, just to turn to Mark who has been trying to get his attention by poking his rips and is now mouthing something that suspiciously looks like _smoking hot_ over Youngjae's head.

Jinyoung huffs. “He isn’t.”

Mark just raises an eyebrow condescendingly (and how does he even do that?), while contributing to Youngjae’s and his picture of a red and yellow baby bird.

“Yeah ok, I admit it, he is… _but_ he’s the enemy, I mean, look at this car!”

For a moment they all contemplate the huge Mercedes parked so insolently in front of the Staff Only sign, ridiculously looking next to Mark's tiny blue Kia and Jackson's old VW.

“You know Markiphoo, if you’d just finally agree to move in with me, we could take one car and the whole problem would be solved.” Jackson muses.

“Gaga,”, Mark says, eyeing his boyfriend fondly. “I already told you, not before you get rid of those ten identical black WANG snapbacks.”

Then he turns to Jinyoung. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright, I guess.”

***

Later that day Jinyoung picks Bambam up from the floor, balancing the small boy on his hips, making his way from the hall to the playing room. They just said goodbye to Yugyeom. Bambam always gets a little sad when his best friend leaves before him and he’s left with nobody he can share his endless string of shenanigans with. Jinyoung thinks it’s cute how the two boys absolutely adore each other, even more so because they constantly fought in the beginning. Oh, stressful times.

“So Bamie, what do you want t…”, he’s about to ask when he looks out of the window and spots his very _favourite_ Mercedes owner in the whole wide world approaching the parking lot.

Blinded by his ever burning anger, that has only increased since the revelation that the offender is actually a walking daydream, he marches out of the kindergarten, through the heavy gates, before he even really knows what he’s doing.

“Oh don’t you think you’re getting away that easily, you son of a…gun.” Jinyoung finishes lamely, once he realises that, in his haste, he brought Bambam with him.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” the child asks confusedly, looking at him with big dark eyes and clinging to his neck.

“Yeah, sweetheart what _are_ you doing?” the man, _Im Jaebum_ , comes to a halt in front of them, looking, of course, like a cat who got the cream. Today he is dressed in caramel slacks and another white shirt, this time with little black dots. Jinyoung suddenly feels really underdressed in his grey T-shirt covered in crayon stains and skinny black jeans. To top off the whole ensemble he’s also wearing the light green crocs Mark and Jackson gave him on his last birthday. Marvellous. This is just marvellous.

Sighing, Jinyoung tells Bambam to just hold on for a few more moments, to which the child obeys surprisingly and starts to play with the bits of his hair he can reach, ruffling it this and that way, while Jinyoung tries to be, well…intimidating? Clever? He doesn’t even know anymore, except that he’s angry and he wants freaking Im Jeabum to _leave_. Or take him out for a coffee. Whatever.

“Look, my name’s actually Jinyoung, not _sweetheart_ or whatever and I told you I’d get the police next time you do this…” Jinyoung starts, but immediately gets interrupted by the man in front of him, who looks lightly amused at whatever Bambam is doing to his bangs.

“And yet there’s no sirens, no blue flashing lights…are you a man of empty promises, _Jinyoung_?”

“No, I’m a man who gives others one last chance.” Jinyoung says, hoping the light blush hearing his name from those thin yet inviting lips had left on his cheeks isn’t as obvious as it feels. Instantly, his enormous rage is dulled. He fucking _hates_ this.

“Look, I would really prefer people not seeing police cars in front of the facility and spreading some crazy rumours. You seem like an intelligent man, so please just stop with this middle school shi…shoot and go park your ego replacement elsewhere.”

He pushes his bangs back, just to get them dishevelled immediately by Bambam again. Still, when he looks back at Jaebum, he tries to give off the impression of a Reasonable AdultTM, so that the other man might finally take him seriously.

“Don’t you have a company garage or something?”

“Well of course, but it takes me five minutes longer to get to work if I leave the car there…”, Jaebum doesn’t get far though and for the first time since he met him, Jinyoung really sees something akin to surprise pass over his face as he, the semi peaceful kindergarten teacher, complete with green crocs, just loses his temper entirely.

“What did you just say? Five minutes?! Can you imagine that I walk at least ten minutes every day from a parking space I had to freaking _pay_ for, because you DOG BISCUIT took my free, staff only space that, I’ll say it again, is kindergarten property! And all of this when you could actually just use your own companies garage but NO, you come here, you argue, you…you know what?”

Jinyoung has never spit a person in the face, but right now he really feels like decorating the perfectly sculpted features in front of him with his saliva. It is only the thought of Bambam, who has frozen in his arms at his pretty loud backlash, that keeps him from doing something drastic.

“Bamie, please cover your ears.” He says and approaches Jaebum, getting as threating close as he can with a four year old in his arms. All former bravado seems to have left the man in front of him for a second, if Jinyoung didn’t know better, he would almost say he looks…ashamed. But as he nears, the other lifts his head back up, the mask of arrogance firmly back in place and that’s all Jinyoung needs to go in for the kill.

“You know what? At least I contribute to society, you capitalist _pig_.” The insult is murmured lowly, almost in Jaebums ear and it feels strangely intimate for a moment, the air around them charged with tension as they stare into each other’s eyes.

Suddenly, Jeabum makes a jerking motion, reaching in his front pocket and Jinyoung is so violently pulled out of his head that he jumps a meter back while exclaiming

“You can’t touch me, I’m holding a child!” In the face of a very bewildered Im Jeabum, who, for the love of God, is holding out a red coloured piece of candy in a transulent wrapper out to them.

“I…”, Jinyoung starts lamely, turning white as a sheet.

“I…” Jeabum starts lamely, turning beet red.

“Is that candy?” Bambam pipes up happily, making his presence known for the first time in minutes. With that the two adults snap out of their stupor, Jinyoung clearing his throat, murmuring an embarrassed “sorry”. On his side, Jeabum just graces him with an ironically raised eyebrow, before turning his whole attention to Bambam.

“Yes young man, it seems it is indeed candy. Cherry candy in fact, which I don’t like, but my secretary keeps on giving to me with my coffee anyway. I think you earned it for being so nice with your hyung here today. Don’t you think so too, _Jinyoung_?”

Interpreting it as the ask for permission it obviously is supposed to be, Jinyoung just gives a quick nod, to which Jaebum unwraps the candy and hands it to a beaming Bambam. The child immediately starts munching on the treat but even in a situation as unlikely as this, Jinyoung can’t let him forget his manners.

“What do we say…?” He mutters distractedly, watching the stone cold, arrogant business man and notorious parking space thief watch Bambam with a far too fond expression.

“Oh yeah!!” The little boy cries happily. “Thanks so much hyung! The candy was delicious!”

What happens next Jinyoung almost can’t believe. At Bambam’s happy exclamations, Jaebum breakes out into the most unbelievable dazzling smile, showing almost all of his teeth. It’s so beautiful and genuine, full of joy and if it takes Jinyoung’s breath away for just a tiny moment, well…he’s only human. And he’s always been a sucker for men who like kids.

“You’re very welcome.” The other says, shortly ruffling Bambam’s hair and Jinyoung feels the close proximity of his hand to his left cheek much too intensely for it to be normal.

_God, I’m so screwed_ , he thinks as he feels a small pang of sadness at watching the other drive away, not knowing if he will see him again.

***

Of course, Jinyoung sees him again, but under much different circumstances than what he thought when he saw the black Mercedes placed in their parking lot the next Monday morning.

Ever since Jaebums little stunt with the candy – showing that, in fact, he is a human being, and maybe not even a totally crappy one – he has become some kind of urban legend for their small group of children, mostly thanks to Bambam. The little boy had told everyone how “Jinyoung-hyung screamed at the strange man with the big car, out of nowhere” and always closed the story with “but then he gave me candy and smiled a _very pretty_ smile, so I like him”.

Especially Yugyeom and a little girl named Lisa, having heard the story multiple times, were and still are, very in awe of the “pretty man with the big car” and so when they spotted the Mercedes this morning, Jinyoung had to physically keep them from running outside.

“He’s working now,”, he told them, patting their little heads, after he said down on the couch with them, to read.

“Maybe we’ll see him this afternoon.”

Later in the day, they dressed the children in their outdoor clothes and ushered them out into the little garden. Jinyoung himself sat at a table, just watching over the kids, while Mark and Jackson were busy building a huge sandcastle with a good two thirds of their group. Since it was the first time in the day that he had more than one second to just take a breath, Jinyoung briefly closed his eyes, turning his face to the sun, when he heard a loud, high pitched scream and several people shuffling around, breaking into a run, in quick succession.

And this is how he finds himself now, reopening his eyes, just to see “Mister Richguy”, as Jackson still likes to call him, gracefully leap over their rattling fence, ripping his undoubtedly expensive navy blue shirt in the process.

Completely dumbfounded, it takes him a moment or two, to realise the source of the commotion earlier and also the reason why Im Jaebum just came jumping into their garden like the devil was on his heels, but when he does, he almost can’t breathe for a second.

Youngjae is lying on the ground in front of the ladder which leads up a tall wooden tower, to the big bright red slide.

He is clutching his arm, crying, his breath comes in quick shallow puffs.

_Oh shit._

Even though Jinyoung immediately breaks out into a run, it is not him, or even Mark or Jackson, but Jaebum who reaches the little boy first, dropping down on the ground beside him and cradling his head carefully in his lap.

“…just fell down, right from the top, just like that.” He is telling a crouching Mark as Jinyoung arrives.

“C-can you please do something? I think he’s hyperventilating or…” Looking completely out of his depth, Jaebum turns first to Mark than to Jinyoung, both of them regarding the heavily sobbing boy in his arms with deep concern. Getting down on the ground as well, Jinyoung starts to softly coo words of comfort and encouragement at the boy, all the while stroking his black hair. He tells him to breath in an out slowly, to follow his lead, until his hectic crying is reduced into little sobs.

“Okay,”, Mark, the eternal voice of reason says, after what feels like five minutes.

“I already told Jackson to take the children inside and phone Youngjae’s parents.” It is only now that Jinyoung notices the complete absence of the constant chatter that normally fills his every moment in this place. How unsettling.

“But he can’t watch over the bunch of them alone, so one of us has to stay here and one of us will take Youngjae to the hospital, since it seems to me that he might have injured his arm pretty bad. Hopefully, we can meet up with his parents there.”

“I’ll go with him.” Jinyoung says, at the same time as Jaebum says “Let me drive you to the hospital.”

With an unbelieving gape Jinyoung turns to his – mostly unpleasant - acquaintance of three days, who just stares back, beautiful black hair ruffled, one glittering earring missing, left shirt sleeve ripped.

“What?!” the other snaps at him. “It would be absolutely irresponsible to let you drive _anywhere_ , alone, with an injured child. I’m taking you there, no discussion. Now come on.”

Mark, ever the opportunist, just nods and returns back inside after giving Youngjae one last reassuring leg squeeze.

The thing is that Jinyoung wants to be annoyed, he really does, annoyed at Jaebum's bossiness even when it comes to how he is supposed to do _his_ job, annoyed at how perfect he looks, even in once white skinny jeans that are now muddy and full of grass stains. But he has to admit that he has got a point and he really would prefer another adult with him in this whole thing.

So he gently lifts Youngjae off from the ground, who just cradles his injured arm to himself and lets out another series of pained groans.

“Don’t worry Youngjae-ah, we’ll be at the hospital in no time, and there your mum will be waiting for you, and the doctors will have a look at your arm…” he mutters to the boy, as Jaebum hurries past them, opening the gate and unlocking his car. They all get into the front seat, since it doesn’t even take five minutes to get to the hospital and they don’t have something to properly secure a five your old with anyway.

And if the whole situation – being crammed into the very car he has glared at disapprovingly with the very man he has been ogling approvingly, one of his kindergarteners cuddled into his arms – hasn’t been bizarre enough until then, it gets ten times weirder when Jaebum starts the purring engine of his car and Girl on Fire suddenly blasts at them so loud, Jinyoung almost jumps out of his seat.

Fumbling around hectically, Jaebum eventually manages to turn Alicia Keys down a bit, all the while shooting embarrassed glances at Jinyoung, who can’t help but smile a bit.

His smile falters, concerned, when Youngjae stirs in his arms, but at the boy’s request of “No…d-don’t turn it down hyung, I like Alicia.”, it returns with double the power and after an approving nod from Jaebum, he leans forward, starting the song anew and turning the volume back up.

First they listen in somewhat awkward silence to Nicki Minaj rapping, a silence, that only lasts until the verse comes on and Youngjae softly starts to hum along. By the time the first chorus is over, Jinyoung is fairly positive he has heard Jaebum screech at least two times, trying to reach the high notes. After hearing Youngjae giggle at the other’s antics, Jinyoung too starts to theatrically sing along.

Also, he totally aces the rap part, if he does say so himself. And when Jaebum turns to him afterwards, slightly impressed surprise in his eyes and laughter on his lips, he doesn’t fall a little bit in love, no, of course not.

***

“Thanks again, for driving us.” Jinyoung says, placing a steaming cup of coffee in front of Jaebum, who looks utterly out of place, seated at the table of their kindergarten kitchen.

“Thanks for the coffee.” Lifting the cup Jinyoung just gave him, Jaebum mimics a toast as Jinyoung sits down opposite of him.

In front of the hospital they had had a little argument again, the issue being that Jaebum, for the life of him, wanted to come in with them and Jinyoung, for the life of him, didn’t want Youngjae’s mother to think him completely incompetent, arriving at the hospital with her injured child and a handsome stranger that looked like he had been dragged backwards through the woods.

In the end, Jinyoung let Jaebum accompany them, but only in exchange for the promise that he would take him up on his offer of a “thank you” coffee after Jinyoung finished quickly tidying the now empty kindergarten.

“You know what, to honour this day and the fact that Youngjae’s arm was only severely sprained I’m ready to move on. I’d forgive you, if you could give me _one_ good reason for stealing my parking spot all the time.” Smiling coyly, Jinyoung leans his head on his hand. It is only one second later that he realises that he is flirting. This is his flirting behaviour, aimed at no other than the man he has been borderline hating for…oh who his he even kidding. He hasn’t felt hate since he saw the stupid xD on the note that was supposed to be flirty and aloof but really only came out a weird mixture between hot and dorky. Quite like the man himself.

“I can’t believe you’re still so hung up about that!” Jaebum exclaims with a laugh. “Can’t we talk about something else? Like…what’s your favourite band?”

“The Arctic Monkeys.”

“Favourite food?”

“Anything I didn’t have to make myself.”

“Reason you took on this job?”

“To get harassed by douchbags like you.” At that Jaebum laughs again, with all his teeth and Jinyoung feels a strange sense of pride surge through him that dusts his cheeks with a light blush.

“You’re not going to let that slide, no matter what I do, right?”

Jinyoung just smiles and shakes his head, sliding forward in his seat until their knees are almost touching under the tiny kitchen table. He doesn’t know what the hell is happening here, but he just can’t make himself stop.

“Well,” Jaebum mutters, leaning slightly closer himself. “The first time I was late for my meeting, so I ignored the sign and just left the car here, since it was closer, thinking ‘whatever’… nothing happened, so I did it again, but you know this.” That said, Jaebum briefly winks at him, scooting even closer, and _shit_ now their knees are definitely touching. It is beyond Jinyoung’s understanding of the universe why he decided to wear jeans ripped at the knees today of all days and now has to be cursed (blessed) with the feeling of Jaebum’s fabric clad, warm knee rubbing against his bare skin.

Needless to say, Jinyoung can barely think straight, but he tries desperately to comprehend what Jaebum is telling him, as to not give himself away.

“The third time, of course, was when I realised that what I was doing was really upsetting people and the sign wasn’t just there for fun…” Hesitating, Jaebum trails off and Jinyoung has to prod him, softly nocking their legs together.

“So why did you keep on coming back?”

“I guess because I wanted to see yo…see if you’d really call the cops on me.” Jaebum is so close now, Jinyoung can see the nervous red splotches appearing on his neck and the skin exposed by the wide open collar of his shirt. He knows what Jaebum was going to say, just before he hastily corrected himself and so he doesn’t suppress the urge to lean forward all the way, right into Jaebum’s space. The other’s breath hitches slightly as Jinyoung presses his lips to his neck, covering one of the angry red spots with his mouth.

It’s almost too good, the hotness and soft feeling of Jaebum’s skin and Jinyoung is struck with the idle thought that he would _love_ to cover Jaebum’s whole body with kisses like this, but he also knows that they’re not ready. He already almost went too far. And he hasn’t been looking for quick fucks since college.

So he pulls back, only now realising that Jaebum has tangled one of his hands in Jinyoung’s hair, as if he wanted to keep him in place.

“Jinyoung.” He pants, looking at him, seeming utterly flustered, their legs still rubbing against each other under the table.

For a second, Jinyoung is almost sorry. He knows he shouldn’t have started things he has no intent of finishing, just because he felt like tasting Im Jaebum’s golden skin. But then he thinks of the hardships he went through in the last week, at the hands of this very man and suddenly he doesn’t feel as bad anymore for being such a tease.

“Sorry Babe, I don’t kiss on the first date.”

***

Jinyoung hasn’t seen Jaebum in three days. It doesn’t bother him. No, not at all.

When he tells Jackson and Mark as much, the two of them don’t even have the decency to hide their obnoxious laughs. They are seated outside, around the big wooden table overlooking the deserted, quiet garden. His friends insisted that Jinyoung should come in early today, so they could have a “chat” as they put it. It goes without saying, that Jinyoung is _really_ excited about this “chat”.

“So Jinyoungie…”, Mark starts off softly.

“Tell us everything Park Jinyoung!” Jackson screams, at the exact same time.

“There’s nothing to talk about. We had coffee.”

“Why do I have that feeling that ‘We had coffee’ only is your weird, children appropriate way of saying ‘He fucked me senseless’.” The grin Mark is sporting now is positively evil.

“Yeah, Jinyoung, come on you don’t have to speak in riddles, there are no innocent ears around yet.” Jackson winks at him which might just be the most traumatising experience in Jinyoung’s entire life.

He buries his face in his hands, feeling himself go red. So Jinyoung mutters out between his fingers:

“We flirted a bit, alright? But apart from that we really only had coffee.”

“Hmm alright…”, Jackson hums. There is a thoughtful silence.

“But you’d _really like_ Mr. Richguy to fuck you senseless, right?”

“Well of course!” Jinyoung hates that he sounds just as desperate as he has been feeling ever since he went home after having that fateful coffee with Jaebum.

“He’s kind of an arse, but like…in a dorky way? So it is kind of charming? He is so unbelievably gorgeous, with his stupid black hair and his stupid flashy, shady looking piercings and his stupid…eyes. And I just…he likes Alicia Keys. _Of course_ , I want him to fuck me senseless and take me out on three thousand sappy dates.”

Once again and with a loud whine, Jinyoung hides his face behind his arms.

“Oh shit.” He hears Jackson mutter softly, followed by the sound of Mark hitting his boyfriend flat over the back of his head.

***

The remainder of the week passed, without any sign of Jaebum or his annoying, pretentious car, and slowly, Jinyoung really starts to sulk. He honestly thought they had come to some kind of understanding, thought he had sent clear signals, indicating that he wasn’t interested in a quick fling but very, very interested in Jaebum. So he just assumed that Jaebum would show up again, like he always did, perfectly dressed, out of nowhere, like a mirage.

Except this time, he hadn’t. Jinyoung’s parking spot was always flawlessly empty when he arrived in the mornings and he hated himself so much, every time he felt a pang of disappointment in his chest at the sight.

Naturally, the kindergarteners had caught unto the fact that something was wrong with their hyung as quickly as only children could.

This morning, Jinyoung approaches Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom who are playing some type of house and, sitting down on the carpet next to them, asks what they are up to. Bambam quickly explains that he is portraying Jackson-hyung and then grabs Yugyeom’s hand, while announcing that the tall boy got the role of his boyfriend, Mark-hyung, of course.

“And I’m you, hyung!”, Youngjae cries excitedly. “But right now I’m really sad…” He makes a mock-sad face, which he holds for a total of two seconds.

“Did you see hyung?”

“Yes, I did.”, Jinyoung smiles and then asks curiously. “Why are you sad?”

“Because Jaebumie-hyung hasn’t been here for so long!”

While Jinyoung concentrates on not letting his face fall and show his emotions, he thinks that this shouldn’t be a surprise. Jaebum had been the greatest source of new excitement for the children ever since he decided to randomly show up at their kindergarten two weeks ago. Working their teacher up, giving out candy left and “saving” children right, it was understandable that he left an impression on the kids. Jinyoung just didn’t think that they would connect all the dots so fast, the clever little creatures. He’s still deep in thought when he hears Youngjae beside him gasp.

“Jaebumie-hyung!” the little boy exclaims, delighted and indeed, through the large windows of their playing room, Jinyoung sees Im Jaebum, the object of his anger, desire, affection, stride through the parking lot like he owns it.

By the time Jinyoung is out of the door, Jaebum has already entered the garden and so they meet in front of the gate, standing at an awkward distance. Jinyoung can’t help but let his eyes roam over the now familiar figure, the white shirt-black slacks combination, just like the day he went outside to sort out this mess and came back well…sort of a mess himself.

“Where have you been?” he demands to know, accusingly, before he even realises what he is doing.

When he does though, he turns white again. Great, he already made a fool out of himself.

“W-where’s your car?” Maybe an even more stupid question will distract Jaebum from how needy the first one sounded.

“Um, in the company garage? I figured you didn’t really want to see it around here anymore.” Jaebum grins widely, burying his hands in his pockets, obviously very happy about something and oh, wouldn’t Jinyoung like to know.

“That’s true but I...”

“No, Jinyoung, l-listen…”, he gets interrupted immediately, by Jaebum’s warm hand on his arm. And God, when did that arrogant brat with the big car turn into this adorable, hot, awkward man?

“I was prepared to just leave this here, since I wasn’t sure if you’d be working but I’m really glad you’re here now anyways.”

Jinyoung’s heart beat increases tenfold while Jaebum lets his hand wander down his arm until he can tangle their fingers together. Searching, he looks into the others dark eyes, watches, as those lovely nervous red spots make their reappearance on his neck. Looking at them, he can almost feel Jaebum’s heat on his lips again, making him flush hot all over.

Jinyoung is so lost in the memory that, at first, he doesn’t notice the card Jaebum slipped into the hand that was not holding onto his own. But now he lifts it up to his face, recognizing the layout in a second. Puzzled, he looks up at Jaebum again, who smiles and nods encouragingly.

Of course, the business card is once again graced with a personal note in slightly smudged black ink.

First, there is an address, and then scribbled beneath it:

_Will you come by tonight at eight? I’ll cook your favourite._

_Love, Dog Biscuit_

_PS.: Actually, I kept on misbehaving because I wanted to see you again and aga_ in.

Behind the last word, Jaebum drew the clumsiest remotely heart-resembling shape Jinyoung has ever seen in his life and he has worked in a kindergarten for the last three years now.

It sends such a sudden surge of affection through him, head to toes, that there’s only one thing on his mind when he looks up at Jaebum, beaming happily into his anxious face.

“Can I kiss you?”, he asks, already drawing a gaping Jaebum closer by their joined hands.

“B-but…your rule?” Jaebum protest, even as he untangles their fingers to bring his hands up to cradle Jinyoung’s face between them, fingertips burying themselves in the hair behind his ear.

“Was a lie.” Jinyoung smirks, sucking in a shaky breath before settling his hands on Jaebum’s waist like he wanted to do since day one. Embolden by Jaebum’s reaction of immediately pressing closer, Jinyoung leans in to finally lock their lips together.

He can feel Jaebum caress his face, while his mouth slides demandingly against his own, tongue darting out now and again. It makes Jinyoung want to open his lips and let Jaebum explore him slowly, with care, like he seems prone to. Signing softly, he squeezes Jaebum’s waist, not really knowing what he’s asking for except _more_. Jaebum responds with a growl of his own and it’s all starting to be too much and not enough at the same time when suddenly, the voice of the one and only Jackson Wang bursts their bubble like a sledgehammer.

“Hey Jinyoungie, you still hoping he doesn’t have sex for a year?”

Jackson grins at them, clearly amused, from the front entrance, a madly giggling Mark tucked into his side, all of their kindergarteners in various stages of shock peering out from behind him.

Jinyoung is never going to live this down, he knows, but he doesn’t really care.

He simply turns back to Jaebum, who lifts a challenging eyebrow at him.

Their second kiss is just as mind blowing as their first.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo :)  
> I hope it was evident how much fun I had writing this one. Actually, I enjoyed this so much, I might turn it into a series of those "asshole AUs" since it was really hard for me to decide which one I wanted to write when I first discoverd the post. So if you guys have any suggestions which one I should do next ;)  
> Leave me some Kudos or even comments if you like! <3  
> Until next time!


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